By Daniel Vestal
March 3, 2009
At the risk of telling more than anyone wants to know, let me report and reflect on the past month. On February 2 I had surgery for prostate cancer, and it was successful. Lab reports have shown that the malignancy was contained and surrounding lymph nodes were clear. Thanks be to God.
The skill of my surgeon and other medical professionals was outstanding. The care of my wife and family before, during and after the surgery has sustained me. The prayers, encouragement and love of friends and colleagues have been overwhelming. I am most fortunate and deeply grateful.
Sickness and surgery has a way of awakening in one an awareness of what is really important in life. It is also a sober reminder of one’s frailty, dependence and the universal human condition of mortality. Recovery creates time and space for self examination and discernment. This is the longest season of forced confinement and inactivity that I have ever experienced. I have learned, and am still learning, some lessons from this time.
The first is SOLIDARITY. I never felt alone, because I was not alone. I never felt abandoned because I wasn’t. I always felt accompanied and surrounded, because I was. The human family in all its diversity is really one, and I experienced a new connection to that oneness. While hospitalized the nurses that ministered to me were from Mexico, Philippines, Uganda, Ethiopia and the U.S. Somehow all those differences were superficial when it came to the human touch, the human smile, the human word.
Infirmity itself reinforces solidarity. There is a kinship created by disease and death, pain and suffering because sooner or later we all experience it. Somehow in comparison to that kinship, all other rivalries and distinctions seem insignificant.
Two other lessons I am learning are HUMOR and HUMILITY. The day after surgery one of my nurses was determined that I walk, and so into the hall we went. I was partially covered with a hospital gown, with tubes running in and out of me, holding onto a pole for dear life. Suddenly I looked to my left and a man I didn’t recognize said, ‘Hello Dr. Vestal.” He was a former church member and was recovering from a similar procedure. The last thing I thought I wanted was to see someone who knew me, but somehow in that moment we both were able to see each other as we were, and laugh.
During this month I have found myself closer both to laughter and to tears, often at the same time. Perhaps these two patterns of behavior are more related than we recognize. They are both involuntary actions and serve as a window into our deepest self. I have also felt more vulnerable with fewer mechanisms to deny or hide my feelings. I have found pleasure in small things with an increased ability to smile or to grieve. I have felt a greater inclination to tenderness and sensitivity.
Another lesson I am learning from this past month is RESPONSIBIITY. Having been given so very much, I feel an even greater responsibility to give back. And I not only feel this responsibility as an individual but also in a corporate and civic sense. I not only feel this responsibility as a Christian, but as an American. Having access to quality health care should not be the privilege of some. Rather it is the right of all. So shouldn’t all of us feel responsibility to do what is necessary to insure quality health care for all?
As it has happened, the timing of my surgery and recovery has been at the beginning of the Obama administration. So I have watched more TV than usual, read more newspapers than usual and followed the events of the past weeks more closely than usual. I have come to know the names and faces of cabinet secretaries and other administration officials and even felt compelled to pray for them by name. I have come to believe that the social, political issues facing our nation are also moral issues: education, energy, environment, immigration, economic recovery and others.
The deepest conviction I have felt is that we have a civic responsibility to make decisions and enact policy that address these issues. We have responsibility to work together so that everyone has the opportunity for productive employment. We have responsibility to provide quality education for every child and to use energy as good stewards of the environment. We have both personal and corporate responsibility to care for the poor and powerless, to seek racial reconciliation and to hold our government as well as one another accountable for a just society.
One final lesson I’m trying to learn has to do with STEWARDSHIP. We only have so much physical and psychic energy, so much time and money, so much power and influence. The great question is how will we manage it all? What will we do with it? The same is true of health, and non-health.
Of the many cards and letters I received one was particularly poignant: “No matter what the prognosis, this can be life-altering. But in Christ we know that all things can lead to the good. I will pray that God will grant you strength of body to recover well and strength of spirit to be a good steward of the challenge.” I know I need strength and patience, because I want to be a good steward, even of surgery.
Daniel Vestal is executive coordinator of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, serving since 1996.